Brighter than Sunshine

16

2010-03-09T05:08:00.000-08:00

16. Ah yes, what a number. I would venture to say that everyone associates something with the number sixteen. For some, it may be a flickering flashback to that "sweet" but in all reality awkward stage of life where you should have been kissed at least once. For others, it could be their date of birth or their lucky number. It could be their sixteenth blog post or the number of years one has been married, but today, in the life of Erin Leigh Seavey, it signifies the number of days until I journey home.

I write this in a stuffy internet cafe in Pai, the hippiest town I've seen in my 22 years - yes, even more hippy than Telluride (I know, I was surprised too). Pai is a mountain haven in Northern Thailand that welcomes people from all walks of life with reggae tunes and friendly smiles. I've seen a lot of dread locks here, and marvel at the people they're attatched to every time. This was a surprise trip for me. I was supposed to be at work this week, but was granted a few days off so that I could make a long-awaited trip up north. If you know me well, you know that I sort of come alive in the mountains. I grew up in the foothills of the Sandias and although I was blessed to travel to all sorts of places as a kid, I always looked forward to the mountain trips the most. There is something serene and soothing about mountains. Maybe it's their towering presence, their sturdy and seemingly unshakable posture, the grandeur of their facade - I'm not sure, but I know I can't really get enough of it.

This morning, my buddies and I set off before sunrise on a nine mile hike. We took rented bikes from our hostel through the tiny town, past thatched roofs and rice fields, to the base of our day's challenge - a pretty hefty mountain. We saw a sign that promised fresh coffee just up the hill a ways, so we willingly obliged in hopes of kickstarting our energy for the trek ahead. The sign led us to a sloping hill sprinkled with more thatched roofs, and ultimately to a laid-back, make-shift, outdoor coffee shop. The man behind the counter welcomely said, "hey, take a seat, stay a while." We sat on tree stumps and ordered our cups of joe while taking it all in. This was none other than a tried and true hippy commune nestled into a picturesque scene. I looked around, trying not to look as much like an outsider as I felt. I saw a few dread-locked couples preparing for their morning chores. They had this incredibly calm way about them - what a contrast to the morning bustle that is so very inescapable in Bangkok. My eyes wandered and met another sign that read: Free Food and Lodging. Volunteer Opportunity - Grow your own Food. Minimum Stay - Two Weeks. Whoah, who could stay here for two weeks?! We relocated to another set of stumps and waited for the fresh morning brew.

Have you ever experienced a moment that makes you consciously stop and try to fit it into a permanent frame within your mind? Well, let me tell you, this was one of those moments. The people there were really living simply. As I sipped possibly the best coffee I've had in months (we only drink instant cofee at work), I tried to imagine myself roaming the very hill I was perched upon with bare feet, a make-up free face, dreads in hair that went down to my waist, and a simple smile dancing across my face - well, needless to say, I had a hard time imagining it :)

With filled tanks and a new appreciation for the endless surprises of life, we sauntered down the hill, our steps adding just another background beat to the reggae music oozing from the coffee stand.

I don't have nearly as much to say about the hike itself, but I will tell you that after three and a half hours up, two and a half hours back (it's always so much quicker on the way down), a nude-colored and absolutely fearless frog, a few thousand humungous Daddy Long Legs, an emerald green dragonfly, and only minimal scratches and bruises, we made it back to our rickety bikes.

As I rode away, I could hardly think of anything other than the early morning scene. Jill Fredston, the author of Rowing to Latitude, wrote, "Travel is ... a way to make a link between features on a map and what is actually there ... the value of travel is not so much in leaving one place or reaching another as in the knowledge that when at last we go home, we will not return to exactly the same point. Travel takes us outside of ourselves and deeper within." One of the reasons I loved Rowing to Latitude was the resonance that came with so much of Fredston's personal insight. I can't really imagine a life without traveling. As I'm quickly nearing the end of a journey of a lifetime, I sometimes try and picture the Erin that sat on the plane that took me from Dallas to Hong Kong and then on to Bangkok. I remember clenching Tiller's hand, my arm stretched across the aisle, and trying to console her with fresh words that came from my brother just days before our grand departure. He too has spent time abroad and has experience with transplanting himself into vastly foreign cultures and societies. He pulled me aside and said something to the likes of, "Now, it would be easy for you to sort of freak out when you get to Bangkok because it's not going to feel familiar. You're going to feel and let's be honest, be, really far from home. But just know this, where you're traveling to has the same sky, same earth, and the people there are just that, people." I vividly remember telling this to Tiller on that plane ride - just as much as I was telling it to myself. Same sky, same earth, just people.

Never has that phrase rung so true with me than in this moment. As I type the concluding lines of this post, I finally feel what my brother told me almost a year ago. I can't help but countdown the remaining days, and as I told you before, I have 16 to go, but even in the midst of a countdown that brings with it more emotion than my body can hold, I am full. Full with the knowledge that I, like Fredston, will not return to the same point when I go home. Life is a constant, moving, organic, cyclical beast, and I know that this fleeting year is a mere speck within that beast we call life. But this year has been a chance for me to see that we really are all just people, roaming the same, wide and wild earth, under the same vast sky.

2010-02-18T23:45:00.000-08:00

I literally just finished teaching my very last class - like 5 minutes ago. I can hardly believe it. I have been teaching these wonderfully energetic kids for 9 months, and I will soon have to say goodbye. What a boggling concept. It's amazing how a place so far away can become one's home. Everything about this country that once seemed so oddly foreign has somehow become the norm.

It is not rainy season, but today we had rain for the first time in a long time. Thailand, mind you, is a country that experiences very few seasons. If I had to label them, it would be hot, rainy and hot, hotter, and hottest. So the spontaneous bout of drizzle that appeared this afternoon got me to thinking about seasons. I will soon return to a place that is dictated by four distinct seasons. And, let me tell you, I am SO ready for that. I have forgotten what it is like to not sweat for an entire day - day in and day out ;) But, although I have been living in a part of the world with quite a monotonous weather pattern, my spirit has been experiencing all sorts of climactic changes and transitions in the past 9 months.

I'm reminded of a song by Nichole Nordeman called Every Season, and it seems to be my theme song for today. It talks about the seasons of life and God's sovereign hand in each one. Here's how it goes:

Every evening sky, an invitation To trace the patterned stars

And early in July, a celebration For freedom that is ours

And I notice You In children’s games

In those who watch them from the shade

Every drop of sun is full of fun and wonder

You are summer

And even when the trees have just surrendered

To the harvest time

Forfeiting their leaves in late September

And sending us inside

Still I notice You when change begins

And I am braced for colder winds

I will offer thanks for what has been and was to come

You are autumn

And everything in time and under heaven

Finally falls asleep

Wrapped in blankets white, all creation

Shivers underneath

And still I notice you when branches crack

And in my breath on frosted glass

Even now in death, You open doors for life to enter

You are winter

And everything that’s new has bravely surfaced

Teaching us to breathe

What was frozen through is newly purposed

Turning all things green

So it is with You and how You make me new

With every season’s change

And so it will be As You are re-creating me

Summer, autumn, winter, spring

I'm trying to prep myself for the season of change ahead. I have no idea what it will be like to re-integrate myself into a western culture. I am so excited, though, to see what lies ahead and to have the chance to think back on this marked experience. I can't wait to breathe fresh, mountain air, to see the incomparable NM sunsets, to taste green chili, and to be with my family again.

my new love

2009-11-22T05:23:00.000-08:00

So, I think it's time to blog again. I'm not even sure many people read this anymore, but it appears as though I'm getting over my two-month-long writer's block, so here goes.

I am happy to announce that I am now a bookworm! I have never been a good reader - ever. As a kid, I always liked the idea of reading, and was drawn to pretty book covers with interesting synopses on their backsides, but reading a book from cover to cover was never my forte. I just didn't like to be alone and I always thought of reading as a solitary and lonesome pasttime. Even in college, I rarely read the assigned literature in its entirety. I became quite good at skimming the pages and zeroing in on the seemingly pertinent information, which probably took more time than actual reading, but what can I say - I was never a true reader until recently. In spite of this, I have always had a bit of a love affair with bookstores. There is something magical about scanning shelf after shelf and reading the bindings that are graced with every imaginable font and title. It's as though I have been distantly flirting with books for many years, and toying with the idea of actually committing to one, yet I have never had the courage to see beyond their covers until now.

This courage to commit began in Bangkok. I find myself with a lot of freetime over here. I only teach a few hours a day, but am required to stay at school from 7:30 AM to 4:00, which leaves me with several elongated gaps, and I do not do well with idle time on my hands. So, a few months ago, I went for a read from the genre cleverly titled "chick flick lit." It was an easy read that caused me to laugh out loud a few times, which was refreshing as I was not in the highest of spirits when I first landed myself on this side of the world. It probably took me a few weeks to finish the book, but I was delighted to have conquered my lifelong fear of book committment. The next couple of books came from the same genre, and although I enjoyed them and was pleased to have successfully continued on my reading journey, I was not feeling as full as I had hoped. I used to think that reading an entire book would be similar to eating a superbly executed Thanksgiving dinner, but after reading a few not-so-mentally-stimulating books, I began to see that there are all kinds of degrees of "full" one can be depending on the type of book one chooses to consume.

Surprisingly, Bangkok has a great selection of English books, which is wonderful because I have been able to actively pursue my bookstore love affair even in Southeast Asia, and I'm getting pretty serious with a bookstore called Kinokuniya. Sometimes I barely get passed the display tables strategically located right by the front entrance. They are chock-full of literature delights and tasty morsels, one of which was a book by the name of Camilla. I picked it up because I was drawn to the wintery illustration on its front cover, and, I've always liked books that have a simple title. Camilla is a novel written by Madeleine L'Engle - the author of the famous children's book, A Wrinkle in Time. It is a coming-of-age book that deals with a fifteen year old girl's initiation into young adulthood through the pain of her parents' marriage troubles and through the exciting, yet startling experience of her first love. The reason I liked this book was not so much for its subject matter as it was for the fascinating means by which L'Engle relayed the story she wanted to tell. The wintery cover of the book complemented my mood while reading it. It felt as though I was peering into Camilla's life through a window shrouded by the drizzle that comes from a rainy day. I loved L'Engle's ability to make me grow alongside the teenage protagonist. I almost understood the despair she felt with her parents' marital problems and I felt the same paradoxical mix of emotions she did concerning her first love. Reading Camilla showed me that a good book can not only bring you into the private emotions of its characters, but it can also transport you into a place that is neither lonesome nor solitary at all. In fact, I became rather bound to Camilla and I wanted so desperately for her to succeed and make it through the trials of entering a new phase in life. I definitely recommend this book :)

Another one of my new favorites is Melissa Bank's, The Girls' Guide to Hunting and Fishing. I must confess, I truly had been flirting with this book for almost a year. I loved its plaid binding and the quircky image of a girl venturing into the snow - seemingly ready to embark on a grand adventure, yet I never bought it because I didn't want to be let down. The cover led me to believe that it would be a great read, but I was worried that once I actually broke its binding, I would be terribly dissapointed, but thanks to my book guru and dear friend, Vicky (whom I lovingly call Aunt Veecky thanks to the Lindsay Lohan Parent Trap remake), I decided to give the girls' guide a whirl. Bank is one of those writers who just has it. She is witty, raw, real, tender and clever all at once and she has mastered the coming-of-age craft as well. (Are we starting to see a trend here?) Maybe I'm finally coming of age too, lol. The girls' guide is a smattering of vignettes about the main character and her life experiences as an awkward teenager, a successful publisher, a mom, and a lover to a famous and much older man. I love the clarity and transparency Bank writes with. She is not interested in sugar coating or making the reader feel completely comfortable, instead, she allows her characters to develop much like a real person would. Life is messy, and with the mess comes beauty, and I feel this truth resonated within the pages of the girls' guide. I can't wait to read Bank's second novel, The Wonder Spot.

And now, I can share with you my current read. It is different from any book I have ever encountered and unlike my drawn-out flirtation with the previously mentioned book, I did not court this one at all; rather, I stumbled upon it in the travel writing section of Kinokuniya just about a week and a half ago. The cover is a beautiful cerulean blue and it has a picture of a glacier and a kayak with a downplayed, yet aesthetically pleasing white font that reads, Rowing to Latitude by Jill Fredston. It is a memoir-like compilation of Jill and her husband's kayaking adventures around the arctic. I'm only halfway through this delectable read and I am already wishing that it would not end. Fredston's writing is much like rising with the fresh remnants of a beautiful dream. Her storytelling invites me as a distant reader into the kayak with her and I have been offered the amazing view of the arctic. I am travelling alongside Fredston and her husband as they navigate through treacherous icy waters, dodge, then wonder at forty-foot-long humpback whales, scare off massive, tent-attacking grizzlies, and relish in the simple beauty of love. Even if you're not interested in outdoor adventures or the travel writing genre, I recommend this book for its uncanny ability to make you see the world as one huge organism that albeit grandeur, is accessible enough for each one of us to experience a slice of its God-crafted wonders.

OK, so I commend you if you made it all the way through this massive blog, and I thank you for allowing me to expound upon my internal reactions to the books that have spoken into my life as of late.

Speaking of late, it's getting late here and I have three year olds to teach come sunrise! As per usual, I'd love to hear from you!

xoxo

an aussie holiday, then back in the saddle again

2009-11-15T05:46:00.001-08:00

Hello! I've been a bad blogger, so I'll have to give you some snippets and highlights from when I last wrote.

I took an 18 day trip to Melbourne, Sydney, the North Island of New Zealand, and Townsville, Australia! It was such a great vacation and it was amazing to have been able to wear a jacket for once. The heat and humidity is still going strong here in Bangkok, so you can imagine that being in a cooler and dryer climate was incredible. I think Melbourne was my favorite city. It reminded me of a mix between Atlanta and Austin with its artsy vibe, cafe/foodie culture and clean city layout. Also, my travel buddy Ashley and I went on a "Savannah Walkabout" about an hour outside of Melbourne in the You Yang Mountains. It was so fun because we had an awesome tourguide with fiery red, curly hair (with a personality to match) that led us into the natural habitat of koalas, emus and kangaroos. We used binoculars to see the adorable koalas slumbering high up in the Eucalyptus trees. We saw a pappa emu guarding his unborn chicks, and we saw tons of kangaroos, some of which were massive! The walkabout was a phenomenal introduction into the beautiful continent of Australia.

Next, we spent a few days in Sydney, which was incredible as well. We took a tour of the Sydney Opera House and learned all about the history of its design and its evolution into a venue that hosts all kinds of events ranging from boxing to opera (of course) to puppet shows to pop concerts - who would've guessed? Sydney was a great city as well because there is just tons to do there. We rode the underground to get most places and the highlight of our Sydney stay was seeing the London Philharmonic Orchestra perform in the S.O.H. It was their debut performance and we had a blast getting dressed up to attend the affair. We also had dessert at a fancy cafe afterward and felt like true Aussie socialites.

After Sydney, we took a dip down to Auckland, New Zealand, which is the biggest city on the North Island. There really isn't much to do in Auckland itself, but we were only there for one night before our three day tour of the Bay of Islands, which took us to the nothernmost tip of the country. The country was just breathtaking and each stop looked like a postcard shot. We got to see where the Pacific Ocean and the Tasman Sea converge, ride a bus along a ninety-mile beach, take a boat ride through a massive hole in an island composed entirely of rock, and sample some divine seafood paired with the best white wine I've ever had. Needless to say, we are truly blessed to have gone on such a grand adventure!

We ended our trip on the northeast coast of Australia in a little beach town called Townsville, where we planned on snorkeling the Great Barrier Reef, but the waves were too high, so we resorted to touring the local aquarium to see a bit of the reef that way. We were pretty tired by this point in our travels, so we just took it easy in Townsville and took a ferry out to Magnetic Island, which is a low-key island just off of the coast.

I have to admit, Ashley and I shed a couple of tears on our way back to Bangkok - we just weren't quite ready to return to reality! We kept saying, "this plane is taking us home, home....right?" But, sure enough, it landed us back in Bangkok and into the heat that Bangkok is so good at producing.

It's been almost a month since I returned from my holiday and I'm pretty much back in the swing of things. I'm enjoying teaching more this semester because I'm a lot more laid back than I was when I first began. I've learned that the more relaxed and flexible I am, the more fun my students and I have, although, they might be having too much fun sometimes :) Just the other day, I had my five year olds make their own doctor's bags, which required some cutting. I was deeply focused on stapling handles onto about 15 bags and in between my intermittent looks around the classroom, I heard a group of students yelling, "teachah, teachah!" and pointing to a pile of black stuff on the floor in the far corner of the room. I thought, surely no one cut their hair or anything......boy was I wrong. Five year olds are really good at tattling, so they all pointed to the culprit who was just sitting on the floor with scissors-in-hand, and a smirk on a face framed by jagged bangs. My first reaction was to laugh, so unfortunately, any scolding was taken incredibly lightly, but seriously.....it was HILARIOUS! Gotta love kindergarten.

Hopefully I'll have some equally entertaining teaching stories to share with you all in the near future! As for now, I think that's quite enough. Hope you are well and I would love to hear from all of you!!

xoxo

they call me teacha and I call them:

2009-09-14T07:31:00.000-07:00

Gotta love Thai nicknames (yes, these would be my students):

I'm thinkin' this is the top 20 list -

Pancake
Disgo
New
Jamebond (note the omission of the letter "s")
Jetty
Name & Nine (little tyrant twins)
Dung
Jam
Term
Pan
Pip
Big & Bike (more twinsies)
Big Boss (yes, when I call roll, I have to say, "Big Boss")
Luk-Pad
Captain
Penny
Aim
Pear

bangkok means....

2009-09-13T07:05:00.000-07:00

When I think of Bangkok, I think of:

1. the monsoon-like downpours that faithfully grace each afternoon with their presence

2. an abundance of gelatinous desserts

3. smiles from strangers

4. dirty, dirty "soi dogs" that roam the city streets

5. beautiful fruits in deep hues with funky shapes and textures

6. long days at a slow pace

7. SHOPPING - from outdoor markets to powerhouse malls, shopping is inescapable in this city

8. interesting city layouts - temples rub shoulders with modern, massive structures and sit next to run-down housing, all across the street from a 7/11 and a Starbucks

9. Thai massage parlors every few hundred yards

10. fascinating cuisine - pig's blood, shark fin soup, black bean ice cream, lots of octopus and squid dishes, crispy insects, delightful curry dishes with a kick, green papaya salad (personal fave), mini muffin-like cakes that taste like flowers, coconut milk, and lots more. my taste buds have been slapped on occasion with a new culinary oddity, but they have also been delightfully entertained on my quest to sample eastern flavors.

11. generous people

12. the importance of family

13. mai pen rai - a brilliant Thai phrase, which translates to mean: no worries

14. unimaginably horrendous traffic jams that oftentimes make me want to pull my hair out, but on rare occasion, cause me to take a few deep breaths, pop in my headphones, and reflect

15. cats without tails

tid-bits of the present and snapshots of the future

2009-09-11T00:50:00.000-07:00

Hello all!

SO glad it's Friday. I'm sitting in one of the offices at school, safe from the monsoon outside. Man, Bangkok in rainy season is one wet place. Thank you to everyone who responded with so much encouragement from my last blog. I was kind of surprised by how open I was, but I think there's something freeing about sharing what you're really going through. I am excited to keep growing and walking in the freedom of knowing that as a mere human, I don't have to shoot for perfection. I'm going to mess up everyday and that truth is not something to despair over; rather, it should be a reminder of God's mercies that are new every morning.

---

As far as life plans go, I have been toying with some interesting options. I was recently reminded of an interest I had a couple of years ago that had somehow been pushed aside. I think it'd be so fun to work in the hospitality industry. First of all, I love working with people, second, I would definitely not mind working in a spa, boutique hotel or resort setting (I mean, who wouldn't right?) and third, I've always dreamt of owing a B&B someday, and going to grad school for hospitality and tourism management would for sure be a solid step toward that goal. Florida International University has a great program that I'm really interested in! Their campus is on Biscayne Bay in northern Miami and the hospitality program helps out with the annual South Beach Wine and Food Festival - that would be so fun to attend! I'll defnintely keep you all posted as I continue to research prospective life plans :)

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On another note, I'm off to Australia and New Zealand in a few short weeks! We get our mid school year break in October, and Ashley and I will be heading down under on Oct. 3rd! We have a really exciting itinerary as we'll be going on a "Savannah Walkabout" in Melbourne where we'll get to see koalas and kangaroos in their natural habitats, we'll be touring the infamous Syndey Opera House, snorkeling the Great Barrier Reef in Townsville, and taking a three-day island tour in Auckland, New Zealand. I am so excited and blessed to be able to go on such a journey! Our itineray is the result of a couple months of planning and researching the cheapest and best means of seeing all that we hope to see. We'll be spending about three to four days at each stop and will be taking a total of 10 flights to get everywhere! We'll definitely be on our toes, but it's going to be a blast! Then, before I know it, my sweet family will be visiting in late December, and I'll be back in the States by March! What a whirlwind this journey east has been so far. My dad lovingly reminded me that although it's important to look ahead, it's just as important to enjoy the present and savor every moment. My pops is a wise man :)

Well...I hope things are just splendid back in the land of the free and I would LOVE to hear from each of you!

reality

2009-08-29T06:36:00.000-07:00

So, I went back to the Refugee Center yesterday morning after a 45 min. taxi ride (the cab driver took us on a Chinese fire drill or something because the ride only took 20 min last weekend). I'm really glad we went back though. The subject matter for the adult ESL class was conjunctions, and even though I majored in Professional Writing, it had been a while since I'd studied the ins and outs of that part of speech. When we broke up into small groups to work on understanding the lesson, I noticed a girl who looked pretty frustrated with the worksheet. I asked if she needed help and she looked relieved to see someone interested in helping her navigate through the nonsensical maze we call English grammar. By the grace of God, I was able to reach back into the abyss of my memory to explain why, how and when we use conjunctions. The young woman's name is Velissa, she's from The Congo, and she's 15. (I was certain that she was at least my age, but she's only a teenager.) I don't know the rest of her story and why exactly she fled from The Congo and ended up in Bangkok - I wasn't quite sure how to ask those questions, but I saw the gratitude in her face for the simple act of helping her with an English lesson. Wow. Can you imagine having to leave your home and stay indefinitely in an entirely new place? Can you imagine the frustration of trying to learn a language in order to get by with more ease? I certainly can't.

I'm glad that I found out about the Bangkok Refugee Center. I want to keep going back because I need to gain a new perspective on life. Not only would I like to lend a hand to people who are going through the pains of displacement, but I would also like to learn a bit more about this huge world I am living in and the plights of many who are also just trying to get by.

I want to share with you a little bit about myself that isn't the easiest to broadcast, but I feel the need to open up because I think it's imperative if I ever want to get past some of the roadblocks in my mind and life.

Lately, I've felt so directionless. I don't know what I will be doing come March when I return to the States. I don't know if I'm supposed to go to grad school. I don't know where I'll live, what my friends will be up to, or when I'll feel grounded again. I mentioned this in my last post, but I don't know what I'm truly passionate about. I've tried so hard my whole life to just be a good person. I rarely got into trouble, and I wanted so desperately to be known as the sweet girl who exuded grace and joy. For most of my life, I've put on a smile so as to make others think that everything is rosy at all times. I didn't see much wrong with this way of living until college when it became exhausting to put on a mask everyday. I've also always wanted to please others. I wanted so badly to be well-liked that I'd say or do almost anything. I created a tangled mess for myself. I began to live in the bondage of masking my true feelings and desires for the sake of feeling accepted by those around me. Now...I'm starting to see the ramifications of living in such a way, and in the pursuit of perfection, I would get SO very mad at myself when I messed up or when I didn't make the mark or reach the high self-imposed standards.

I've been recently convicted that this ridiculous pursuit of perfection is really rooted in pride. I've always thought that I was a really good person because of all of the bad things that I chose not to do, but in putting so much effort into doing good and acting like my life was a walk in the park, I began to not only fool those around me, but I also began to fool myself into thinking that I was innately good. In the moments that I would become frustrated with myself for missing the mark of perfection, I would then turn to God for help and would ask him to help me be better and to get through whatever trial was nagging at me at the time. But then I would see myself experiencing the same struggles over and over again and I would wonder why I had to turn to God so much. If I was innately good and did my best to live a perfect life, why did I find myself running back to God so very much? I began to get mad at myself for needing God - and this is when I realized that I had been living with an extremely tainted approach to life.

The Bible says that all are sinners and fall short of the glory of God. It claims that we are like sheep, gone astray, and in desperate need of the blood and love of Christ. I've heard these truths my entire life and have believed them ever since I gave my life to Christ when I was a little girl, but I have rarely truly felt the need for a savior. I've always tried to be good enough on my own and it wasn't until I failed that I'd come running to God for help. What a prideful and destructive way to live! I'm beginning to see that not only am I imperfect, but I am also innately bad. Although I've tried tirelessly and endlessly to put on this act of being a peppy, happy and an exceptional human being, I am beginning to see that it was in vain. No matter how many smiles I have plastered to my face and how many acts of goodness I have done for others to see, I am still human. I am bound by flesh and there is no way for me to earn salvation or reach perfection with my own two hands.

I've felt bogged down for the past few weeks. I've even questioned my motives for volunteering at the Refugee Center - and I have to admit, I've felt pretty proud telling people that I've spent my last couple of weekends doing volunteer service. Yet again, I have been reminded of the flesh that I so obviously wear. I think I'm coming face to face with the realization that I truly do need at savior. I no longer want to put on an act for others - I don't want my daily motives and decisions to be based on pride. I pray that God would show me the areas in my life where I have let pride run rampant and that I would be convicted and repent.

I hope this post doesn't burden you with too much my of internal quests and recent realizations; rather, I pray that my mistakes would be a testament to God's grace. The Bible also says that Christ's grace is sufficient. I do believe that it is sufficient for me and for all mankind. He created us knowing that we would be in dire need of a savior. He knew that I would struggle with the things that I do, and knew that you would struggle with the things that you do, too. He wants us to come to him when we're on the glorious mountaintops of life and when we're in the dark valleys, as well as everywhere in between. I pray that God would use my story for our good and for his glory. I'm glad that my eyes have been opened to the reality of how I've lived for so long. I pray that I would not dwell on the past and get stuck in a cycle of beating myself up for being imperfect, but would instead move on in the grace that has been extended to me and be a witness to those I meet. Maybe in moving on I will find a passion or two to pour my energy and time into, after all, I no longer have any desire to spend all of my time and energy putting on an act.

shouldn't life come with a script?

2009-08-25T09:10:00.000-07:00

Hey All!

I'm not yet a blogger pro - for some reason, I feel like every post has to be some long, detailed account of notable happenings, but I'm going to try and post more frequent, shorter posts and see how that goes :)

Anyways, life over here has been kind of hard as of late. I've hit the three month marker and am really missing little things about home. I miss the mountains, clean fresh air, New Mexican food, being able to drive, my buddies, and just feeling comfortable. I think the getting up at 6:00 A.M. and not getting home until 6:00 P.M. each day is starting to take a toll. It's a far cry from my lax college schedule of rising leisurely at 9:30 or 10:00 to catch my 11:00 class, and returning home no later than 3:00 - oh the joys of being an undergrad. I guess those days are over! As far as teaching goes, I've had some awesome breakthrough moments with some of my classes, where I feel like my students are getting the subject matter and are really enjoying it, but I've also had several moments of just wanting to rip my hair out and catch a plane back to the States. Although, the funny thing is, I have NO IDEA what I would do if I were back in the States, which has been the root of some additional stress lately. What am I going to do with my life?? If I'm truly honest with myself (and you) one of the reasons I'm over here is because I thought that living abroad would offer me some sort of new perspective and would stir within me some sort of new passion, which would lead to some epiphany concerning the career path I should take. Well, I'm sorry to report that no such epiphany has been had - in fact, I find myself just trying to get through each day without going crazy from telling my kindergarteners to stop trying to stick their hands up my skirt, or to stop wrestling with each other in class.

Whew! Deep breath...I guess I'm getting a little dramatic, but really, I'm in a bit of a rough patch. In a recent conversation with my dad, I realized that I don't really have any passions right now. Growing up, I always had my plate full with things like soccer practice, choir practice, church activities, and school. Then in college, I gave the majority of my extra time to my sorority, which kept me more than a little occupied, but now, I feel, dare I say - directionless. I've always been told that many people in their early twenties feel this way: uncertain about the future, a bit lost, and alone, but I guess I didn't anticipate these feelings to be present during my year abroad.

I know I've turned this post into somewhat of a pity fest, but I do have a tinge of productive and interesting news to share with you. In a motion to find something, anything to be passionate about, I visited a refugee center last Saturday morning. Since I've been so introspective and pretty much self-centered lately, my mom encouraged me to get out there and pour my time and energy into others' lives. I showed up with a few friends and jumped right in wherever help was needed. I ended up working with several adult refugees from Sri Lanka. We did an activity to help them broaden their everyday English vocabulary, and as I was using ridiculous amounts of hand motions in a charade-like manner and stuttering through my sub-par explanations of vocab words like airport terminal, customs, profit and source, I realized how very hard life for a refugee must be. Seeing their determination to grasp words and concepts in a very difficult second language in order to ease their daily struggles, really showed me the pettiness of my daily complaints and discomforts. I don't yet know the stories behind the people I met last Saturday. I don't know why they had to flee from their homelands, nor am I capable of even imagining the frustration and uncertainty a refugee must face each day, and because I don't yet know these things, I can't wait to go back. I hope to build relationships with some of the people I met last weekend, and I hope to be an encouragement to them. I suspect they will have much to teach me as well. Maybe a passion for people has been lying dormant....time will tell.

the richest poor man

2009-07-08T19:07:00.000-07:00

Have you ever been completely separated from the comfort of life as you've always known it? Have you ever seen human depravity in a clear and undeniably true form? Have you ever wondered why some people in this world have so very much, while others literally reside in dumps, bathe in stagnant pools of water, and wash their clothes in city fountains? I hadn't come into close proximity to any semblance of these things until I visited Cambodia. I knew very little about Cambodia prior to my visit. I knew that it neighbors Thailand and that it's a developing country. I knew that the late 1970s brought unspeakable violence in the form of human hate and genocide to millions in Cambodia. I knew my holiday there would not be a vacation so much as it would be an eye-opening experience - but I didn't know that it would affect me so much.

The reason I decided to live in Southeast Asia for a year in the first place, was to grow. I left the States with one basic goal: to return a different person. I don't mean to say that I didn't like who I was, or that I wanted to start a brand new life. I simply wanted to see an entirely different part of the world without the filter of mass media or a camera lens. I wanted to communicate with, and live among peoples of completely different descent. I wanted to allow myself to feel uncomfortable, to get dirty, and to ultimately expand my understanding of humanity and the way the human soul survives.

I spent two days in Siem Reap, the city that houses Angkor Wat, which is the world's largest religious structure. Angkor Wat is comprised of several temples or wats, all of which were breathtaking in their own right. I've grown to love travel photography, so I got a little camera-happy in some of the temples. It was so cool to see the ancient architecture and the intricate details engraved in the wats' stone structures that have lasted for centuries. My favorite wat was one that had countless faces carved into its walls and the many facades of its steeples. Although trekking around Angkor Wat for a full day was awesome in and of itself, the reason our day was truly unforgettable, was our tuk tuk driver, Seeyou. First off, he had an awesome name! lol. He picked us up from our inn and drove us around for the entire day. He was just such a joyous and friendly guy, and as the day went on, we learned a lot about him.

Seeyou took us to one temple that is far out of sight from the main road. We had to walk about a mile to see the moss-covered structure, and on our walk, Seeyou told us about how the Polpot Regime affected him personally. When he was about 12, he lost his father and brother to the genocide, and he too was left to die in the Cambodian jungle. He recalled living in the jungle for quite a long time and claimed that he lived worse than a dog - eating anything that was remotely edible, like snails and discarded leftovers on the side of dirt roads. He told us about how the Khmer soldiers would take seemingly healthy people captive, tie them to trees, and cut out their livers only to throw them into boiling water right before their eyes. He said that the victims would live long enough to see their own livers being boiled, and then they would die. He told us all of these things with a transparent honesty, but at the same time, Seeyou had an indescribable joy. I don't know how, but he seemed to be okay with his lot in life, and grateful for having survived such unspeakable hatred. Fortunately, Seeyou was old enough at the time of the genocide to remember his mother and sisters' names, so by the time the violence subsided, he was able to locate the remnants of his living family. Seeyou is now in his 40s, he used to be a schoolteacher, and speaks English quite well, along with fragments of several other languages. He is an intelligent and motivated man - but he can't read. He is also now a husband and a father, and he told us how his money goes toward bringing his children milk each day.

What was so astounding to me was his selflessness. At the onset of our day in Angkor Wat, my girlfriends and I needed to stop at an ATM, so Seeyou took us to several ATMs, only to find them all inexplicably closed. He then offered to lend us some of his money. A man who lives off of what little money he makes as a tuk tuk driver and uses it to buy his children milk, offered to pay our admission. Seeyou was such a testament to the resilience of the human spirit, the power of joy in any circumstance, and the importance of appreciating what each of us has been given in life. I think Seeyou is one of the richest people I have ever met.

After my time in Siem Reap, I spent two days in Phnom Penh, the capital of Cambodia. There, I saw the Tuol Sleng Genocide Museum and took a trip to the Killing Fields, which was much like visiting a concentration camp in Germany. Phnom Penh still bears the scars of the despair of the 1970s. I'll never forget the destitution so visible on every street corner. When I first arrived in Phnom Penh, I saw a group of men surrounding a man in a wheelchair, who had no limbs. They were bullying him around and looked like they were preparing to beat the defenseless man up. I wanted to scream and tell them to stop, but I was speechless and eventually looked away as I said a silent prayer for him. I saw so many maimed people that roamed the streets and begged, and I didn't know how to react. I'd always heard about poverty and despair growing up, and I knew that it existed in the world, but I had never seen it so plain and simply as I did in Cambodia. I am still struggling to grasp the fact that living in poverty is a reality for so many people. They have never known anything different.

Visiting Cambodia made me wonder where I fit into this equation. What could my own actions do to help alleviate the pain in this world? I do not believe that money is the answer so much as I believe that spreading a message of hope is. There are plenty of wealthy people all over the world who live in spiritual and emotional poverty. As a Christian, I have been called to share the wealth of the Gospel. I pray that, that would be the banner of my life. Christ came to save people, period. He did not lay down his life for the wealthy, for those who have access to the finer things in life - no, he laid down his life for all, and it is my prayer that every person on this planet would hear the message of hope that Christ lived out.

back to the old country

2009-07-01T01:19:00.000-07:00

Hello All!

I hope everyone is doing well and enjoying their summers! I'm doing pretty well on this side of the world. I haven't posted in awhile, because I didn't have much to say, but I thought it was about time to give an update on recent happenings and near future events.

Last Saturday, 5 of us took a day trip to Ayutthaya, which was the capital of Thailand when it was still Siam. We began the day early in the morning thinking we'd take a train to the town, but we were told it would be more cost effective to rent a van (driver included) for the day. So, 600 baht per person later, we were on our way in a spacious silver van to catch a glimpse of Thailand's past.

Our first stop was the beautiful Summer Palace. The grounds were immaculate and contained several stunningly ornate buildings. There was a traditional Thai gazebo on the water in front of the palace, which served as the focal point of our first view of the grounds. It was striking with bright colors and traditional Thai patterns. There was also a red and gold open-aired temple on the grounds that looked like it had a Chinese influence. It housed statues and really old and expensive looking furniture made out of different types of wood, shell and bone. The Summer Palace is no longer used, but it seems to remain quite a functional facility, and is certainly a big tourist attraction.

Our second stop was my favorite. Our driver took us to a site with stunning temple ruins and huge buddha statues everywhere. My favorite part was taking pictures of the massive reclining buddha, whose white facade was striking against the adobe colored walls of the ruins. Most of the buddhas were clothed with golden yellow sashes, and the biggest ruin on the site looked like an ancient Mayan temple or something. We climbed the well-worn stairs to the top and found a monk accepting offerings inside the highest part. It was really interesting because the monk was a white female (I think) who looked Scandinavian - kind of weird. I really liked this site, though because the pictures we took looked just like ones you'd find in The National Geographic.

Next, we rode an elephant!! Tiller has been absolutely DYING to see an elephant this whole trip, so she was just about beside herself when the van pulled up to the place. Just Tiller and I decided to pay the 300 baht each to ride an elephant for 10 minutes. We had to climb up to a platform to get on the massive mammal and then we sat on a wobbly bench-like seat with a huge red umbrella overhead. There was a woman who sat in front of us on the elephants neck and she guided him with a metal rod and her feet, which hung right behind the elephants floppy ears. We bought him bananas, so he had a little treat while he paraded us forongs (foreigners) around, and he stubbornly took us around the site and through some water. He grabbed some greenery with his trunk and loved splashing it around as he waded through the water. Both Tiller and I almost fell off as we got back on the platform after the ride, which would have been quite a story to tell, but it was a really fun part of the day!

After the elephant extravaganza, our driver took us to an off-the-beaten-path riverside restaurant for lunch. When we got out of the van, we were led to a table by a river, and it was so relaxing to sit down in the shade for awhile - I'm still not quite used to the Thailand heat! Across the river from our table was a beautiful 200 year-old Catholic church, and we were all really surprised to see it since Thailand is like 95% Buddhist. Lunch was really good too! I ordered ginger chicken, which was pretty safe, but Tiller and Lynn ordered fish. They were each served an entire fish - head and all! They actually loved their dishes as well and by the time we were all done eating, we were sufficiently energized for the rest of the day.

The rest of the sites are a bit of a blurr, but I know we saw a lot more ruins and a few more temples. One of the temples had a huge golden buddha in it, and a lot of people were inside offering incense and praying to it. I was really taken aback by the whole situation. It's really eye-opening to see people bow down and pray so earnestly to an inanimate thing. Living in a largely buddhist country has granted me the opportunity to see firsthand how different people live and what they choose to hope in. I pray that those I meet will see something different in me, and will want to know the living God.

After the temples and ruins, we took an hour-long boat ride that took us along the same river we ate by. It was really cool to see the houses and some of the locals fishing and just hanging out. It was also really funny because the locals loved to wave as us as we rode by. I guess we're really interesting to look at, lol. Then after the boat ride, we stopped at a market for dinner. I think we were the only foreigners there and it was truly a Thai experience! We sampled some amazing fruit, and I downed a bag of fresh pineapple wedges in like 10 seconds flat!

Finally, after the sun went down, our driver took us back to some of the ruins we had seen earlier, but this time they were lit up! It was so cool to see the old temples and jagged ruins lit up from underneath and we snapped some pretty breathtaking shots!

It was a great way to spend a Saturday and we all really enjoyed peering into Thailand's past through the many sites at Ayutthaya!

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AND, next weekend I'm off to Cambodia to see Angkor Wat, which is the world's largest religious structure. It will be an adventure for sure! Please pray that we get there safely and have no difficulties crossing the border!

Much love,
Erin

thai silk, dress-up clothes and adventures in yoga

2009-06-16T09:01:00.000-07:00

Today was a really cool day. There's this awesome lady named Pat who works at Chitralada and she is quickly becoming a grandma figure to Tiller and I - she's great. She's been working at the Palace school for years and years and has taken it upon herself to make our transition into this completely different world as seamless as possible. Pat somehow found out that Tiller and I would really like to have a Thai silk suit tailored for each of us, and she pulled us aside yesterday and said that there is a great seamstress who frequents the school and will tailor virtually anything for you! So, of course we were immediately interested, and today the seamstress came! We were introduced and handed two books chock-full of beautiful Thai attire. Most Thai women have several silk suits that they wear for special occassions, which appear to occur quite often here - the Thais love any reason to celebrate! Anyways, we thumbed through the books and found a beautiful skirt suit (yes, we picked the same style :) and then were measured after telling the seamstress which colors we would like. I, of course, requested a coral/peony pink colored suit, lol. It's cool because the seamstress is going to pick the Thai silk herself and when we get to see the suits early next week, what they look like will be kind of a surprise! Pat is such a sweet woman, and one who is highly looked up to at the school. She works in an office with a couple of women who practically run the school, and we were surprised to be able to go in there, lol.

Today was also a great teaching day. I taught 5 year-olds about clothing, ie: buttoning and zipping up, putting on a hat, what one wears to the beach, etc. and it was SO fun! The kids got a kick out of seeing me put on different types of clothing and trying to demonstrate wearing sunglasses, a sunhat and a sundress to the beach, wearing my raincoat in the rain or my strawberry pajama pants to bed...they were just in stitches as I threw the clothing on and off like a clown. Then we did a game where I divided the class into 3 teams and I had the person at the head of each team's line run to the pile of clothes that corresponded with a location picture that I held up. I was really hesitant to try a game like this because the language barrier can be SO frustrating. Usually even the simplest of instructions can take massive amounts of charade-like behavior (on my part) to ge the point across, but the kids picked up on the game incredibly quickly! They were SO into it, and I was just ecstatic to see that the language barrier does not have to dictate my classroom activities. After the game, we had workbook time and did some review from past lessons, and at one point, I was helping a student one-on-one with some spelling, and when I turned around to see what the rest of the class was up to, I saw a huge clump of kiddos trying on all of the clothing props I had modeled at the beginning of class. It was just about the cutest thing ever. One of the girls was proudly modeling my beach dress, one of the boys was sporting my bright yellow sunglasses coolly, and several others were just cracking up on the floor over the whole dress-up-behind-the-teacher's-back situation - it was hilarious!

If I've learned one thing so far, it's that teaching little kids brings so much joy. At first, I was so worried about messing up and not meeting people's expectations, but I've learned that class can be messy, fun, crazy and simply hilarious - AND the kiddos can still learn. I never expected to like being around that many kids so much, but they just have a way of changing one's perspective on each day for the better.

The day ended with a yoga session that Tiller and I signed up for yesterday. We had no clue what the class would be like, but had heard that one of the teachers would be leading the class after school, so we changed into shorts and t-shirts and booked it toward a makeshift yoga room on campus. We were late, but somehow happened to be the first ones there (I'm beginning to notice a looseness about being on time here). Then we saw some of the older women teachers trickle in with their yoga mats and stretchy pants - no, we didn't have mats, and we were the only ones in shorts, lol. Hey, you live and you learn, right? Luckily, one of the teachers lent us these lawn chair type cushions to use as sudo yoga mats, and by the time we hit the first position, Tiller and I began to laugh, not so subtlely. The instructor had us place pressure on our noses in an alterating motion with our thumbs and pinky fingers, while moving our heads up and down...it was so weird/funny, and we were already in a giggly mood over the awkwardness of not having mats and being in shorts, so you can imagine that it was hard to remain composed. Then, we did these spread eagle moves and ab-intensive lean backs that made my whole core area shake like a phone on vibrate - it was pretty entertaining to watch I'm sure! But, we decided that it would be a great Tuesday activity to commit to, and we could always use more intensive exposure to Thai. I think I've got numbers 1-10 down-pat as the yoga instructor repeated them several times with each position. I think it's nung, song, sam, sea, ha, ho, jet, pat, cow, sip. See, I'm learning Thai!

Okay, I'm starting to ramble and it's getting late...off to bed.

wildlife

2009-06-15T08:50:00.000-07:00

Okay, so I forgot to mention the wildlife I have seen so far in my first blog. There's somewhat of a moat that surrounds the school, and in it live these MASSIVE lizards! When we saw them for the first time, we thought they were alligators or crocs, but it turns out they're called Monitor Lizards - they're really intimidating, but they actually run from humans, which is comforting, lol. They move really slow and I saw one crawling out of the water and trying (unsuccessfully) to shimmy through a gate - it was pretty sweet.

Then, get this...there are peacocks that live on the palace grounds as well! So cool, right? I've seen them several times (it might be the same one - I'm not sure), and they're so beautiful. We are in the beginning of the monsoon season, and the other day, I saw one camping out from the downpoor right outside of my office window! I saw one run today too, and realized that I NEVER want to be chased by one of those things. They're necks protrude forward and shoot backwards quickly as they run, and I'm pretty sure they could do some serious damage with that beak...I'll be enjoying them from a distance :)

Hmmm, what else? I have yet to see an elephant. Apparently there are some small elephants that are used as tourist attractions throughout part of the city, but I don't want to see them because I heard they're maltreated and chained like 24/7. We do plan on going to Lampang, which is in the north, where there is an elephant conservation and you can spend a whole day with an elephant! We can ride them there as well, so I'm really looking forward to that!

There are also some HUGE black birds that live in close proximity to the school. We see them every time we walk to the bank and they look like crows on steroids with really big curved beaks. Tiller and I deposited our paychecks in the bank today, and when we were walking back, she jolted all of a sudden and said, "Ow!" When she touched her head to see what had hit her, she felt a huge clump of bird poop! It was more like a bird dump I'm sorry to say. I think it was one of those massive black birds. She's such a good sport, though, and just laughed it off until we got back to school...it was pretty funny.

I'm glad to report that I haven't encountered too many bugs, just the typical mosquito and ant here and there; however, I was walking through a little strand of street vendors the other day and saw a pretty impressive array of insects being sold as snacks. There were crickets, beetles, worms and these monstrous (we're talking a good 2.5 inches by 1 inch) cockroach looking things - DISGUSTING! I tried to take a picture, but was scolded by the vendor...oops. I don't care if they are "a great source of protein," I'm definitely not trying them, sick out. I did notice a girl about my age ordering a bag full of worms or something, though. She was a brave soul.

Well, that's it for now. Hope all is well!!

living the thai life

2009-06-12T03:17:00.000-07:00

Hello all!

So this is my first experience in the blog world and I always swore I'd never be a blogger. For some reason I associated blogging with publishing one's innermost thoughts and emotions for the world to read, which is so not my style, but I figure it's the easiest and best way to document my Thailand adventure.

Well, I just finished week three of my Bangkok stay, and can honestly say that I'm really enjoying my time here! It's been such a whirlwind since I graduated two days before I moved to Southeast Asia, and began orientation for teaching the day after I arrived - we didn't get much time to process this whole thing, but that was probably good. I've learned that sometimes you have to just close your eyes, take a deep breath, and jump into a new, life-changing adventure. That's what I feel like I've done!

There are fourteen of us teachers from Baylor (9 of which are at Chitralada, the school I'm teaching at). There are also four teachers from Sacramento, California who are teaching at Chitralada as well. We have great community among us so far, and I've made a couple of really great friends already. There are four of us girls that hang out all the time: Me, Tiller (my sorority sister), Lynn and Christy. We have such a great time just laughing and wandering around Bangkok.

I'm not really sure where to begin in explaining everything that's happened on this adventure so far, so I'll start with some highlights:

1. Meeting Members of the Royal Family and Chitralada Palace School:

So, I know you're all curious about the royal family and if I'll get to meet them and whatnot. Just to give some background information, the King and Queen are virtually deified in Thailand. You see pictures of them EVERYWHERE and it's incredibly impolite to talk about them in public. The King is actually the longest reigning monarch in the world, and unfortunately, he is no longer in great health, but I believe he can still get around to some degree. The school I teach at is called Chitralada Palace School, and it is the King's school. There is also a Queen's school in Bangkok, but I don't know anything about it. Chitralada is technically a public school, but it has a private school feel. The children that go there are pretty well off (or so I've been told), but their parents do not pay tuition, instead, the school runs on donations, which I believe are mostly given by the parents and families of those enrolled.

The Crowned Prince's son, Prince T. is currently enrolled in the kindergarten at Chitralada. He's four years old and is just adorable. The first time Tiller and I met him, we were told to curtsy. He goes to class like the other students, but he is constantly surrounded by his people, ie: guards, his photographer, and his doctors are always in the close vicinity. Tiller and I have had our pictures taken with him several times - eek! Tiller is teaching him English this semester, and there is a chance that I will be teaching him next semester. I heard that he studied English abroad, so I think he knows quite a bit already for someone his age.

Speaking of meeting members of the royal family, Tiller and I were caught majorly off-guard about a week and a half ago. We had heard that Prince T.'s mom (the Crowned Prince's wife) was dropping him off at school that morning, but we didn't know exactly what she looked like or when she'd be there - (he tends to arrive at different times each day). So we were just watching all of the kindergartners arrive and noticed that Prince T. had a bit larger than usual crowd surrounding him, so we figured someone important was around, then, before we knew it, his mom came over to us and introduced herself as "his mom" while pointing in the direction of her son. We were so nervous when we realized who she was and half-curtsied/ half-bowed as we said, "Sawadeeka," which is hello in Thai. She was so friendly, though, and it was an honor to meet her!

The third encounter with royalty so far was actually today. One of the King's daughters, the beloved Princess of Thailand, came to Chitralada in honor of the school's opening of the Chinese department. It was a huge deal and we were all told to buy suits for her appearance. She came at 2:00, and all of us teachers lined up to curtsy and smile as she passed by. Her entourage of cream colored Mercedes was HUGE...there were probably 20 cars in all! We actually shook hands with the Chinese ambassador (who was there in honor of the Chinese department celebration), and then curtsied as she passed by. We were only like 4 feet from her, it was so cool! She's known as the beloved Princess of Thailand because she chose to never marry, but instead, considers herself as married to Thailand and its people. Seeing her was such an honor because she is a highly revered woman.

It is such an honor to get to work at this school, and it's so fascinating to see such an intimate part of Thai culture firsthand. I don't know if I'll ever get to see the King or Queen, but I think there are huge celebrations for their birthdays, in which case, we'll probably get to see them pass by.

2. Adventures in Food:

So the food situation here is one of the most interesting parts of this cultural experience. The stereotype is true, they do in fact eat rice with EVERY meal. I don't eat it for breakfast like the locals do, but I do have it everyday with lunch, which is served at the school. Lunch usually consists of a couple of meat choices (oftentimes unidentifiable meat), a really spicy dish either in the form of a curry or a soup, sometimes a dish with veggies in it, and an extremely odd dessert. They serve a lot of chicken, fish and pork, but sometimes the meat dishes are a bit like mystery meat. It's not uncommon to see fish soup with all of the bones and parts thrown in, they also serve fish balls that look like gray, rubbery things a little smaller than ping pong balls. Some of it is really good though, like the curry dishes with rice, or sometimes we get an omelet to accompany white rice, which is surprisingly delightful.

The desserts are by far the most fascinating. The first day we ate at the school, the dessert was a big jug full of green, wiggly, squirmy, wormy looking things that you eat in a bowl with crushed ice and coconut milk on top. I actually kind of enjoyed it. They're really into gelatinous desserts that are oftentimes served in the form of balls with a shredded coconut coating. They also really like little squares of lightly flavored, firm gelatin with fruit in a sweet, clear syrup or coconut milk. My favorite dessert so far is a little reeses peanut butter cup-sized serving of sticky rice with a sweet, toffee-colored topping. I also really want to try sticky rice with sliced mango and coconut milk on top - that sounds really arroy (yummy in Thai).

There are also tons and tons of street food vendors throughout the city. They sell a lot of meat kabobs and sliced fruit, but I haven't really been brave enough to sample food from the street stands just yet. The city seems so dirty with all of the smog, and it's usually full of really unpleasant smells, so I haven't found the street vendor option to be all that appealing just yet. I'll be here for about a year, so I'm sure I'll be trying it all in due time :)

3. Weekend trip to the Island of Ko Samet:

Last weekend, we all went on our first mini-vacation to the island of Ko Samet. 18 of us went and it took about 3 hours to get there from Bangkok by van and speedboat. It was a beautiful beach with white sands and clear blue water. The girls and I stayed in a bungalow with two queen-sized beds about 20 paces from the water - it was phenomenal. We pretty much just relaxed the whole weekend, enjoyed good food, the sun (a little too much because most of us got sunburned), the warm water, and good company. Our friends Audrey and Stephen graduated from Baylor a couple of years ago and have been living and teaching English in Thailand for a shade over a year, and they helped us get to Ko Samet and figure out the van and speedboat system. It was such a nice and relaxing weekend away from the city that I would like to go back a few times if possible!

4. Learning to be a Kindergarten Teacher:

Each day that I've taught has been a huge learning experience for me. I never realized how complicated it'd be to teach English to 3-5 year-olds, some of whom don't speak a lick of English. It's definitely a challenge to keep 17 kids interested and attentive for about an hour, but they are all so precious and fun, that even if my lesson plan gets fudged a bit, they make me smile and laugh a lot. I was given a curriculum to follow for my 4 and 5 year-olds, but Tiller and I have to make up our own for the 3's. I've learned that teaching such young children requires an abundant amount of energy (or at least the appearance of it). It's like performing charades or doing an act on stage when I teach, but I'm up for the challenge, and am so excited to see my kiddos grow in their understanding of the English language.

I honestly never pictured myself as a teacher before this experience, but I see now how people grow to love it. It's really encouraging and sweet to see how excited the kids are to see Tiller and I each day - they all just scream, "Teachah Erin!" or "Teachah Ashley!" It's so cute.

Also, for a little extra money, we are allowed to tutor on the side, and I was recently asked by a Thai teacher if I could help her learn English. I said yes, of course, but I need to figure out how best to tutor an adult...am I qualified for this I wonder? lol.

Wow, I think that about covers a lot for now. I'd love to hear from you, and thanks for reading my blog!!